Poem of the Day - “Seeing Things” by Seamus Haney

I
Inishbofin on a Sunday morning.
Sunlight, turfsmoke, seagulls, boatslip, diesel.
One by one we were being handed down
Into a boat that dipped and shilly-shallied
Scaresomely every time. We sat tight
On short cross-benches, in nervous twos and threes,
Obedient, newly close, nobody speaking
Except the boatmen, as the gunwales sank
And seemed they might ship water any minute.
The sea was very calm but even so,
When the engine kicked and our ferryman
Swayed for balance, reaching for the tiller,
I panicked at the shiftiness and heft
Of the craft itself. What guaranteed us
That quick response and buoyancy and swim
Kept me in agony. All the time
As we went sailing evenly across
The deep, still, seeable-down-into water,
It was as if I looked from another boat
Sailing through air, far up, and could see
How riskily we fared into the morning,
And loved in vain our bare, bowed, numbered heads.

II
Claritas. The dry-eyed Latin word
Is perfect for the carved stone of the water
Where Jesus stands up to his unwet knees
And John the Baptist pours out more water
Over his head: all this in bright sunlight
On the façade of a cathedral. Lines
Hard and thin and sinuous represent
The flowing river. Down between the lines
Little antic fish are all go. Nothing else.
And yet in that utter visibility
The stone’s alive with what’s invisible:
Waterweed, stirred sand-grains hurrying off,
The shadowy, unshadowed stream itself.
All afternoon, heat wavered on the steps
And the air we stood up to our eyes in wavered
Like the zig-zag hieroglyph for life itself.

III
Once upon a time my undrowned father
Walked into our yard. He had gone to spray
Potatoes in a field on the riverbank
And wouldn’t bring me with him. The horse-
  sprayer
Was too big and new-fangled, bluestone might
Burn me in the eyes, the horse was fresh, I
Might scare the horse, and so on. I threw stones
At a bird on the shed roof, as much for
The clatter of the stones as anything,
But when he came back, I was inside the house
And saw him out the window, scatter-eyed
And daunted, strange without his hat,
His step unguided, his ghosthood immanent.
When he was turning on the riverbank,
The horse had rusted and reared up and pitched
Cart and sprayer and everything off balance
So the whole rig went over into a deep
Whirlpool, hoofs, chains, shafts, cartwheels, barrel
And tackle, all tumbling off the world,
And the hat already merrily swept along
The quieter reaches. That afternoon
I saw him face to face, he came to me
With his damp footprints out of the river,
And there was nothing between us there
That might not still be happily ever after.

—from Seeing Things (1991)
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Falling (Back) in Love with YA

I've not read a lot of YA fiction over the past year. My mind has been on other things, and reading and enjoying YA has not seemed as necessary to my life as it once was. I'm still a high school librarian, but somehow my passion for it has waned.

It's time for that drought to end. I am dedicating the month of October to only reading YA books. I am taking a break from self-help, non-fiction, and literary fiction and giving myself permission to enjoy reading YA again.

Here's what I'm looking forward to reading. It's mostly new stuff, but I look forward to reading some older titles that I've overlooked in the past.

Autumnal Pleasures

Today is the first day of October!
I have decided that October is going to be my favorite month of the year. The weather is cooler (FINALLY) and the pleasures of autumn are ripe for enjoyment. Halloween awaits at its end, bringing cackles and candy and costumes and the promise of more holidays to come. There are things to do, but it is not as crushingly busy as May or December. October is full of special days to say the least.

I recently listened to a podcast that inspired me about ways you can make your fall more luxurious. I wanted to list my own fall luxuries. They don't cost anything (or very little) but they are, to me, the things that I look forward to all year. I usually write out a seasonal enjoyment page in my journal, but I thought I would do something a little more illustrative this time.

Blankets & Socks
My blanket and sock game is pretty weak, I admit. I usually forget about the simple pleasure of warmth these items bring, so I will be more intentional about using them if I'm cold (which is often). Like Gretchen Rubin and medicine, the instant I feel cold, I will seek out these items instead of complaining about being cold. I'm trying to shop less, but I think I may add a pretty blanket I can use for naps and watching movies and reading as well as a few pairs of lovely socks with traction I can wear around the house to my carefully curated shopping list.

Actually Enjoying Being Outside
Walks and sitting on the porch, which were once insufferable because of heat and humidity are now highlights of my day. Thanks to my allergy shots, I can actually be outside without fear of getting sick (as I did most past springs and autumns). I realize I never minded being outside. I just minded being sick for three weeks after. Morning walks are a joy in the cool air.

Hearty, Savory Cooking and Foods
I love auditioning cookbooks from the library, and here are a few that I've enjoyed lately. If any recipes are successful, I will be sure to share. I'm hopeful a few of these will make the cut and inspire me to culinary greatness!

October also brings the opening of my friend Brian's sourdough pizza restaurant A Dopo that I am so excited to try. I am going to try to give him a run for his money with that Elements of Pizza book over there. (hahah....uh..no) He tried to show me how to work the dough into balls and it's quite a bit harder than it seems. I did not have the touch (at least after ten minutes of practice).


Decorating for Fall

I accidentally decorated my oven area in my kitchen in away that brings me such joy when I see it. I love finding things I can cook in my red pot. Some of my favorite meals ever are made in it, like my dad's vegetable soup, lasagna soup, and roasting a whole chicken (something I felt like I would need adult supervision to undertake but wasn't as nearly scary as I thought it would be).



Fall Fashions and Makeup
I took the plunge Wednesday and went a little darker with my hair for fall and winter. I call it Beautiful Blended Balayage. It blended my natural hair color (which I was growing out) with my blonder highlights, so now my hair can grow out in uninterrupted loveliness. And I won't have to pay for highlights again for a long time! Balayage comes from the French word "sweeping" as in how the colorist sweeps color through your hair to make it look more natural. I love mine! I think it will go nicely with my darker lipsticks and eyeshadows I save for fall and winter. I also really love finally getting to wear jeans, sweaters, boots, vests and jackets (like every other woman in America).

Award-Winning Books and Movies

Fall is when movie studios release their Oscar contending films and publishers release their heavy-hitting literary titles. I'm not reading a lot of fiction these days, but a few titles I am eager to try are Commonwealth by Ann Patchett, Underground Railroad by Colson Whitehead, and Another Brooklyn by Jacqueline Woodson. I am also counting the days until Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, Rouge One, The Arrival, and many many others. I got a $50 Regal gift card from my credit card points expressly for this purpose!

Marching Bands
I could care less about football, but it matters to most everyone else so I try to be interested in it. I love the marching bands more than anything else that happens on the field. I especially love hearing the sounds of the band rehearsing after school on Mondays. As I make my weekly visit to my public library branch after school, I hear the drums and brass coming over the hills and the trees from my school, just a mile down the road. That moment always means fall is here to me. It is one of my favorite moments to sit and listen and be thankful for everything about where I am at that precise moment.

Halloween
I think that any holiday you get and give candy is OK in my book. I used to be a crotchety old lady and make kids say "Trick or Treat" before I gave them candy (I know...) Catherine is obsessed with ghosts, stemming from one of her Curious George books. She is going to be a ghost for Halloween (just like George). I've decided to embrace a holiday I honestly used to roll my eyes at people getting excited about. I get it now. I may not be ready for haunted houses and the scary side of Halloween, but I want to make this a special and exciting and fun time for Catherine.

What are your favorite things about autumn?

Poem of the Day: "A Brief for the Defense" by Jack Gilbert

Sorrow everywhere. Slaughter everywhere. If babies
are not starving someplace, they are starving
somewhere else. With flies in their nostrils.
But we enjoy our lives because that's what God wants.
Otherwise the mornings before summer dawn would not
be made so fine. The Bengal tiger would not
be fashioned so miraculously well. The poor women
at the fountain are laughing together between
the suffering they have known and the awfulness
in their future, smiling and laughing while somebody
in the village is very sick. There is laughter
every day in the terrible streets of Calcutta,
and the women laugh in the cages of Bombay.
If we deny our happiness, resist our satisfaction,
we lessen the importance of their deprivation.
We must risk delight. We can do without pleasure,
but not delight. Not enjoyment. We must have
the stubbornness to accept our gladness in the ruthless
furnace of this world. To make injustice the only
measure of our attention is to praise the Devil.
If the locomotive of the Lord runs us down,
we should give thanks that the end had magnitude.
We must admit there will be music despite everything.
We stand at the prow again of a small ship
anchored late at night in the tiny port
looking over to the sleeping island: the waterfront
is three shuttered cafés and one naked light burning.
To hear the faint sound of oars in the silence as a rowboat
comes slowly out and then goes back is truly worth
all the years of sorrow that are to come. 

How to Read Less

I like to read. A lot. Probably too much. As Catherine has gotten older and more active, I have less time to read. But I've somehow held myself to the same standard of reading 200-250 books for the annual Goodreads challenge. Recently I've started to explore and question all the expectations I hold for myself to check and see if they're realistic and healthy. And I've decided to give myself permission to not read as much.  I have other things I want to do with my rare free time, and as I have realized I am not getting any younger...that the time is now. Ever since I was young I've always wanted to develop these habits (exercising regularly, playing the piano, and practicing Spanish). When I devoted all my time to reading, those things fell by the wayside. I realized that no one cared how may books I read (even though I thought they did). I realized that *I* wanted to be better at each of these other things and that they would bring me greater pleasure than to simply be able to say "Yeah, I've read that!"

So in the spirit of Brené Brown, here is my permission slip I wrote for myself to read less.

I also have found a way to be content about experiencing books without having to read them all the way through. Life is too short. I will still read a lot of these, but I'm letting myself off the hook.

1. Read long, professional reviews of it (like from the New York Times or Time)
2. Listen to the Fresh Air segment with the author
3. Listen to other podcasts about books (haven't looked too hard into this yet)
4. Read the Sparknotes if it's an older title

Life is short. I love to read, but I've found it's not the only thing I love. I am proud of myself for questioning my long-held assumptions about what makes me happy and why I do the things I do.

Sweet Tea!

My dad always makes the best sweet tea. He would make it in a huge jar on the back porch. When sun tea isn't possible, I like to make it in my coffee maker. Yep. My dinky 4-cup Mr. Coffee coffee maker. I clean out all the coffee gunk from the machine and the pot, and then I cut open the tea bags, put it in a coffee filter, and go.  The secret ingredient that makes my dad's tea SO good is in the variety of teas that he uses. We've always used regular old Luzianne family-size tea bags, but my dad throws in a couple of single Earl Grey tea bags.

I use Adagio Earl Grey Bravo as my regular morning tea, and it brings a lovely fruit and floral lilt to the flavor of the tea.

Sweet Tea
Yields: one gallon of sweet tea

3 family size black tea bags
2 tsp loose Earl Grey tea (or 2-3 single tea bags)
1 gallon water
3/4 - 1 1/4 c. sugar/sweetener depending on

Lemon-Glazed Blueberry Doughnuts

Ingredients
3 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
2 tsp baking powder
3/4 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
1/4 tsp ground cinnamon
1/4 cup butter, softened
3/4 cup granulated sugar
2 eggs
1 cup sour cream
1 1/2 cups blueberries
Canola oil for frying (whole bottle)
3 cups powdered sugar
2 tsp lemon zest
3 tablespoons lemon juice
Milk

Directions
1. In a medium bowl, combine flour, baking powder, baking soda, salt, and cinnamon.
2. In a large bowl, beat butter granulated sugar with an electric mixer about 2 minutes or until well-blended, scraping with a spatula as needed. Beat in eggs, one at a time. Beat in sour cream.  Beat in about 2 1/2 cups of the flour mixture, 1/2 cup at a time. Stir in blueberries. Stir in remaining flour mixture, 1/2 cup at a time, until a soft, slightly sticky dough forms. Transfer dough to a greased bowl. Cover and chill 1 to 2 hours.
3. To fry doughnuts: Heat 3 inches of oil in a large, heavy bot to 365 F. Roll dough out on a lightly floured surface to about 3/4 inch thick. Using 2 1/2-inch and 1-inch round biscuit cutters or a doughnut cutter, cut out doughnuts and holes. Fry doughnuts and holes in batches for 2 to 3 minutes or until golden brown, turning once. Transfer to a cooling rack set over a baking sheet.

4. In a medium bowl stir together powdered sugar, lemon zest, and lemon juice. Stir in enough milk, a teaspoon at a time, to make a glaze. Spoon glaze over doughnuts and holes, allowing excess to drip off. Let stand until set. Makes about 20 doughnuts and holes.

This recipe is from the Publix FamilyStyle magazine, just in time for National Doughnut Day on June 5.